Getting Children Ready for Get-Together Behavior--All Four Parts (Reprinted)

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what

you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou

How our children treat their grandparents, aunts, uncles, pastors, teachers, etc., has a huge bearing on how they will treat others in the future.

PART I

Many years ago when we had seven children fourteen and under, we decided that we wanted our children and our family to be blessings to others—not burdens. We knew that bringing seven kids into situations can seem overwhelming to hosts. We wanted people to look forward to our family coming—not dread seeing our big thirteen passenger van pull in the drive-way! We decided that when we went to a get-together, as Christians, we should be energy-givers, not energy-zappers!

We knew that going to a family get together of any kind, but especially any with non-Christians, and trying to “show” people our Christianity by our standards wouldn’t work. Non-Christians do not care about your standards—they do not worry about what you are wearing, what you are not watching, and other outward signs that we often think are important (and they might be, but they seldom show our faith as much as we think they do). What non-Christians care about is how they are treated (which is what everybody cares about, really!).

We have taught our children since they were very young that other people matter—a lot. We have taught them biblical truths along these lines—do unto others as you want others to do unto you; put others first; when you see an opportunity to do good to others, do it; prefer others before yourselves (our first born’s first memory verse when he was two—“‘fer others a’for self!”). We taught them to always think of those around them.

We taught them to think of those beside you (your friends and siblings); those ahead of you (grandparents and others who have gone before you); and those behind you (those who are watching you). And we taught them that we are here to serve God and others—not ourselves. And this begins in our home with our immediate family—and then extends to other relatives, friends, church, the community, then the world.

What does this have to do with Thanksgiving get togethers? Everything! We can prepare our children to think of others and serve whenever they can every time they leave the house (including family get togethers) or we can just assume they are kids and should just be kids—and do what kids do. Yes, kids can be selfish—but not just because they are kids. Kids are selfish because they are humans. As parents, we are entrusted with these children in order to train them in the ways of the Lord—which includes training them in selflessness rather than selfishness.

Some might feel that putting expectations on children to have certain behavior, exhibit selflessness, serve others, etc. for grandparents and others is too heavy of a burden—but if our children cannot learn to serve those closest to them (including siblings and parents), how will they ever be able to serve others (especially spouses and their children in the future)?

Tomorrow I will give you a list of ways that we taught our children to serve others, put others before themselves, exhibit good manners and character, and more—at holiday get togethers—and at home! 






PART II

Today I will share some tips that we have found helpful in teaching children to be a blessing when we go to holiday get-togethers. I would never say that our children were perfect at gatherings (or at home!). However, I believe that we have met our goal of not having people dreading our arrival! LOL! And many times, I believe, they even look forward to it!

1. Everything starts with you. I know, I know…I sound like a broken record. But the fact is, if you go anywhere to be served, thinking of yourself and what you will get out of a situation, your children will too—only moreso. (We are firm believers in the saying, “What you allow in your life in moderation, your children will allow theirs in excess.”) When we had many small children, we first of all, tried to be sure that we took care of their needs—that people did not feel that we came with all these kids for others to tend to. Secondly, we tried to divide up and help as much as we could. Oftentimes, we had our hands full changing babies, nursing, fixing kids’ plates, wiping up messes, etc. However, anytime we could, we tried to help others—we wanted our kids to see that we are not here just for ourselves.

2. We tried to do things ahead of time that would bless others—staying up late the night before to make special dessert or getting up early and peeling twenty pounds of potatoes were things that we could do at home to bless others there—even if our hands were full at the get together. We always told our children that if you can do something to help others or serve others, try to do it. (Obviously, you can’t always help everybody all the time—but we tried to teach them to always be on the lookout for ways to help others—and God has used that mightily in preparing our now-adult children for their current areas of ministry.)

3. Gratefulness begins at home…okay, everything begins at home. Whatever we want our children to learn and do, we must train them in that in our homes—not hope they get it at church, youth group, Sunday school, or by osmosis. If our children are taught from early ages that everything we have comes from the hand of God—and that without him, we are nothing—they are more apt to be grateful for little things. How is this done? “Slow and steady; steady and slow; that’s the way we always go.” In other words, it’s not a “character lesson” for Thanksgiving week (though it can’t hurt to emphasize that quality this week!) or a book that you can read (though we are reading about gratefulness right now in Character Sketches). It is something that is cultivated as we pray, worship together, remind our children that others are investing in our lives and that God uses them to bless us. Discussion, discussion, discussion. “Did you notice how hard Grandma worked to prepare today for us?” Every little detail of living for God (including gratefulness) can be taught at home through living and talking.






PART III

My “tips” are becoming “sermonettes”! Sorry….will continue them below and in next post. Thanks for joining us!

4. Manners begin at home…okay, everything begins at home and must be in us first. There, I said it. I spelled it out. LOL! Manners lessons were definitely something we taught. (Ray just listened to an audio about teaching manners a few months ago and was giving lessons to the boys while we traveled. As we sat in the “thrown rolls restaurant,” and Ray tried to teach the boys about silverware use (yes, you need to teach boys that!), one of the kids piped up with: “Dad, I don’t think a restaurant where they throw the rolls at you and they serve various things on brown paper toweling that they FRIED is a place that cares about manners!”) Need I say it again? If our kids talk with their mouths full, are not made to sit still during the meal, do not pass food (but keep it in front of them for later!), eat with their fingers, etc. at home, guess what? They will do at family get togethers too! Manners are common courtesies that we as Christian parents need to focus on.

5. Focus on respecting our elders. Respecting our elders is truly a lost art in our society—and it is so sad that it is that way. For one thing, the Bible states over and over that they should be respected. Secondly, it is such an obvious extension of the Golden Rule—let’s face it, we all want to be treated with kindness and respect in our old age. Start with the bear minimum—not doing anything that could harm or endanger an elder. For example, we always told our children what we expected of them in every scenario that we went into. “Now you need to talk quietly and not run at Grandma and Grandpa Rager’s because they are not used to having rowdiness—and you wouldn’t want to run into them or have them trip over you.” Then move into the way they speak to elders. We trained our kids to speak to those who speak to them—preferably looking the person in the eye and warmly shaking his or her hand. Moreover, as they learned to not be too shy in that scenario, we taught them to converse with the person and ask about him or her. (We often gave the children “assignments” at church to shake hands and ask about one new person each week to help them learn to do this!) Grandparents, especially, should be greeted warmly and sincerely. I know this sounds trite—but these are their grandparents! They are our fathers and mothers. They deserve kindness, warmth, respect, love, and assistance. Finally, our children learned to look for needs that their grandparents might have and try to meet them. (We taught our children that if Grandma is going in the kitchen to clean up, the Reish family should too!)




PART IV

Last installment…honest! Will follow with more recipes and a couple of book reviews. Happy parenting!


6. Remind kids about situations in which deference should be exhibited. (Note: Deference is the act of deferring or putting off what we want for ourselves—like when you “defer” payments for a whole year—you are putting them off. Deferring (or “yielding,” as we also commonly call it here) is desperately needed. Giving up what we want for the good of someone else will get noticed far quicker than quoting Bible verses or praying before our meal (though, again, there is nothing wrong with those things—but when someone gets treated well, he or she takes note!). We have a saying in our family that “Reish children pick up some floor!” This means that when you are in a situation in which there are not enough seats, you should take a seat on the floor. This is especially true with small children, but it’s not at all uncommon for our big teenage boys to be on the floor in many situations. This is one way that we have taught our kids to defer to others in social situations. Other things to consider are allowing others to go first in the food line, taking small portions or none at all of a dish that is almost out or seems to be in short supply, giving up your chair or place at the table, and many more. These are common courtesies that Christians, of all people, should display. When you talk about deference over and over again with your children—pointing out situations in which they can potentially yield their rights to other people, they will begin seeing these situations for themselves eventually.

7. Teach children to be helpful. You have probably heard the saying that 80% of the work in the church is done by 20% of the people—well, the same is often true in families. The same people often host gatherings, and if you have done much hostessing, you know that it is a lot of work. We continued the theme “if you see a need, try to meet it,” in family gatherings. If children can put chairs away, pick up trash, run the vacuum, or dry dishes, they are ready to be helpers! Note that some hosts truly do not like to have children helping/working with them, so we tried to be sensitive to that as well. Again, if children are taught to be helpful at home, they will be more likely to be helpful in other situations.

8. Bring the fun! We like to bring games, holiday videos, yummy carry in dishes (now is not the time to try to get the extended family members to start eating their green veggies!), and more.

As Christians, we should strive to treat others in such a way that people want to have us around—that we are energy givers, not energy zappers. And we should teach our children to do the same.

Grateful for all of our Positive Parenting (Raising Kids With Character) readers who have made my year of daily writing such a blessing by your encouragement and kind words. God bless your family this Thanksgiving.

Spring 2014 Character Ink (Training for Triumph) Class Information and Registration

Spring 2014 Character Ink (Training for Triumph) Class Info and Links

All classes for Spring Semester (January through April/May) are listed below with their Description Sheets and Registration Forms. 

If you want to add a student to a two-semester class (all CQLA/language arts and sciences), please call Ray to inquire about space in the class and pre-requisites/placement (260-450-7063 or 260-597-7415). One semester classes currently have at least a little space in each one, so just send in forms for those unless you have placement questions.

Returning CQLA and science students should email us to let us know you are continuing the second semester (no forms necessary for returning students in those courses): r.reish@mchsi.com .

Note that there are changes from the published forms in the summer issue of the FWAHS "Homemade News." Please use forms below rather than old forms.


CI Class Registration Master Spring 2014--All Days/All Locations At-a-Glancehttps://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4FVVZ4tdWpgYmplMDhTay1hSUk/edit?usp=sharing

Composition Classes---Creative Writing, General Composition, Research Reports, and Essays Only-- for grades four through twelve (writing levels) available all four days/locations for Spring 2014!

CI/TFT Class Descriptions for Fort Wayne (First Assembly), Monday-- Spring 2014https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4FVVZ4tdWpgOE1wZDlwZXUtT2c/edit?usp=sharing

CI/TFT Class Registration for Fort Wayne (First Assembly),  Monday--Spring 2014 https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4FVVZ4tdWpgejByTDUwQldTd0E/edit?usp=sharing

Ray Working on Lesson Preparations for Chemistry and Biology
These are available on Mondays (in Fort Wayne) and Wednesdays (near Ossian)

CI/TFT Class Descriptions for Fort Wayne (First Assembly),  Tuesday-- Spring 2014https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4FVVZ4tdWpgRGZ6d1ZjNzBwTlU/edit?usp=sharing

CI/TFT Class Registration Forms for Fort Wayne (First Assembly),  Tuesday-- Spring 2014https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4FVVZ4tdWpgU1pIek1TMFhxRWc/edit?usp=sharing

Students engage in lively discussions in many of Joshua's classes, including literature, world history, US history, economics, government, apologetics, speech, and debate

CI/TFT Class Descriptions for  Ossian (our home), Wednesday--Spring 2014  https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4FVVZ4tdWpgeXZEdFpfcF83Q1U/edit?usp=sharing

CI/TFT Class Registration Form for Ossian (our home), Wednesday-- Spring 2014https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4FVVZ4tdWpgbHVuNFR5UVo0c1E/edit?usp=sharing

Complete Language Arts Classes Using "Character Quality Language Arts" for second through twelfth grade students at two locations (Mondays in Fort Wayne and Wednesdays near Ossian)

CI/TFT Class Descriptions for Leo, Indiana, Thursday--Spring 2014https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4FVVZ4tdWpgS0t2OGJHdTRJU3c/edit?usp=sharing

CI/TFT Class Registration Form for Leo, Indiana,  Thursday--Spring 2014https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4FVVZ4tdWpgS1ZIT293aE9sejg/edit?usp=sharing

Thursday classes in Leo, Indiana are held second semester only! Don't miss it!

The "Overview Source Method" for Research Report Writing

One of the students in my classes to test my books--working on his Overview Source Method and Color-Coded Research

In my curriculum books (Character Quality Language Arts, a complete Christian language arts program for grades two through twelve, and Meaningful Composition, composition books for grades two through twelve), I teach an approach to research called "The Overview Source Method."

One of the language arts books I have written, Character Quality Language Arts Red Book--Level C (high school)

I happened upon this method years ago as I was teaching kids how to write research reports. I have always taught students to write using a paragraph-by-paragraph method. (I don't like the 100 word report, etc., approach as writings {essays, reports, and even books}.) 

In the paragraph-by-paragraph method, the student decides ahead of time what each paragraph in an essay or report is going to be about. This early determination helps him in his research, choosing of quotations, sequencing, and more. To use this method in research writing, a student must work in this order: (1) Choose topic; (2) Research enough to write thesis statement (and write it); (3) Choose paragraph topics (from the source(s); (4) Research each paragraph's topics/take notes.

Highlighters and colored pens are musts for research in the Overview Source Method and Color Coded Research approach

When a young student (third or fourth grade, for instance) writes a research report, he is usually just starting out with the myriad of skills that are involved in writing a research report, so he generally begins just using one source. That is fairly simple--his teacher helps him choose a good source, such as an encyclopedia entry or web site, a source that has a lot of headers, sub-headers, sidebars, etc. to help him determine his paragraph topics.

As students proceed through middle school, however, my expectations in research writing are heightened. I want the student to begin using multiple sources for one paper. I want him to learn how to merge a few sources (two at first) into one paper. This multi-source research can be especially challenging in the beginning.

Thus, "The Overview Source Method" of research to the rescue!

In this method, the student chooses his first source, his "Overview Source." This source will be the first source he consults in laying out his paragraph topics. It will be the first source that he uses to start taking notes beneath each paragraph topic. It will be the source that helps him determine what each paragraph of his report will contain. 

One of the beauties of the "Overview Source Method" is that once a student learns it in, say, sixth grade, he has a skill for life. He can continue to use this approach all through his high school years and even into college. 

Three sources that are "color-coded" and ready for note taking

Choose a source that has any or all of the following:

a. Headers and subheaders that provide a sort of "outline" of the topic (Hint: At first, I tell my young students to find these great headers and choose three of them to be the paragraph topics (for three paragraphs) for his report!)

b. Glossary or other place where terms are defined

c. At least four times the number of paragraphs that the student is assigned to write. (If he chooses a six paragraph source for a four paragraph paper, he is back to using almost everything in that source, and he will not learn to choose the parts of information he wants to use in his paper.)



Once he chooses his Overview Source, he does any or all of the following:

1. Finds the headers that are above the material that he wants to use in his report. We start out telling students to choose one aspect or sub-topic of the topic per paragraph. (This also solves ALL paragraph break problems! No more running paragraphs together!)

2. Begin the Color-Coded Research (more on that later!) by highlighting each header in the Overview Source with a different color.

3. Using the color of the first header you chose for your first aspect (and first paragraph), highlight everything about that topic that you think you might want to take notes on for your paragraph in that first paragraph.

4. Using your other source(s), continue with that first color of highlighter. Find information about that color's topic and highlight anything in the second source that you might want to use in your notes.

4. Continue doing Steps 3 and 4 for each aspect/paragraph.


I will write another post on the Color-Coded Research in more detail later. In the meantime, teach your students to use the Overview Source Method--that is, find one good, solid source that will help him to determine his paragraph topics. These are the initial baby steps to research that will build confidence in your student to write longer and more detailed research reports in the future.

Think Fast Grammar Quiz Answer Key

image from wordmr.

If you have a newer edition of CQLA, you likely have weekly quizzes called "Think Fast Grammar Quiz." When we created these, we originally thought that parents would use the Grammar Cards (available in Level B and C books and in the Teacher's Guide) to grade their students' quizzes.

Then we began teaching/testing the editions that contain these quizzes and discovered that it wasn't as easy as we had previously thought to just use the Grammar Cards to check the quizzes--and to help your student categorize and study the grammar words.

So we created the document below to be used both as an Answer Key as well as a study guide for the Think Fast Grammar Quiz. It will be in a future edition of the Teacher's Guide, and when our new website is done this fall, it will be available there as well. In the meantime, we are emailing the document to anyone who calls or emails us asking for it--and we are putting it here at the blog in the hopes that word will get out and parents will find it.

We use it to grade our testing students' quizzes, but we also use it in the following way:

1. We have the student fill in as much of each part of the quiz as he or she can---then highlight the line in which he left off on his own. Then we have him look in the AK to find more and finish filling in the lines with the ones from the AK. This shows us what he already knows and what he had to look up, but it also helps him to learn more of them by writing them out as he looks them up in the AK.

2. We also assign portions of the AK for homework. For example, we will have all students study the section in the AK that has opposite prepositions or prepositions that begin with B, etc. This makes the AK into a sort of Study Guide for the student and has really helped them learn the words in categories as opposed to long lists of them.


Please share this post with fellow CQLA users so that we can get the word out that there is a lengthy, detailed, helpful Answer Key for the Think Fast Grammar Quiz! ;)



https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B9s1gDz0XKhwVW9YcDRpSHpHZU0/edit?usp=sharing

Final Tips on Independent Work Lists--Especially for Older Students

image helpformothers

Today I would like to leave you some tips for Independent Work Lists--especially for older students (junior high through high school). These will be in no true order--just some things that I want to re-emphasize from the younger ages as well as things that pertain only to olders.

So here we go:

1. Consider the document or chart that works best for your age child now. Most kids in junior high and high school no longer want cutsie charts. Once you decide you want a genuine paper document, then you have to decide how you want it filled in:

a. As he goes, he lists what he does each day, sort of a daily school journal.
b. You write in a planner each week for him for the following week (page number, number of pages, lesso number, etc.).
c. You have a standard daily Independent Work List that you create in your scheduling program or Excel---that you can customize when something changes, etc. You print this off, put it on a clip board, and have him highlight or mark off as he does things each day.


2. Consider if you are going to make his Independent Work List for him completely or if you will have his input. We liked to choose our high schoolers materials, schedules, lists, etc., with them, so that they have some input in the process--and to help model for them/teach them how to organize, prioritize, etc.

3. Still use some of the elements from the earlier suggestions (for younger kids) that are universal, such as:

a. School is your child's occupation. It is what he should be about during the day.
b. Put the daily tasks in sections according to time of day or importance--and also in order according to when they should be done.
c. Do your part to be sure that charts are updated, printed, and ready. I know from personal experience that if we are laxed in this--they become laxed real quick!
d. Have a system that works for you every day. Have his list on a clip board that he carries with him/keeps in his school area. Have him highlight as he does things. Have him leave it on your desk when he is done, etc.
e. Develop a "no exceptions" approach to daily independent work. A student doesn't go to basketball, girls group, youth group, etc., until his daily independent work list is done.


4. Have blanks on the chart to add in any work from outside classes, music lessons, Bible quizzing, etc.


5. Put things that are not dailies where ever they go. This was always a little bit difficult for me. Do twice weeklies go on Tuesday and Thursday (but Thursday is our lesson and errand day...). Do three times weeklies always go M-W-F, even though Wednesday is our "cottage class day" and extras do not get done on that day. This might take a while to get in the groove, but it is worth it to tweak things and make it work.


6. For junior high kids, consider that you might need smaller chunks (maybe two math sessions at 30 minutes a day, etc.). Again, you know your student and  your family situation, so do whatever works best for you.


7. Consider if you want this Independent Work List to be his total chart/list for all aspects of his day at older ages:

a. Do you want to put his devotions, music practice, and outside work on there too?
b. Do you want it to contain meetings/tutoring sessions with you?
c. Do you want it to also be his chore list?

There are some definite advantages to a junior high or high schooler having his day right in front of him in one spread sheet. However, this can also get overwhelming to some kids.


Feel free to ask questions here on FB about the Independent Work Lists--I will try to answer them. I can't imagine not having homeschooled without our three daily task lists: (1) Morning routines; (2) Chore charts; (3) Independent Work Lists!

Independent Work Lists for Elementary Children

I is for INDEPENDENT WORK!

Chart by picstopin.com

If you don't start Independent Work Charts/Lists with your littles, you will definitely want to start it in elementary school after your child learns to read!

 (Some people feel that they have very little to put in an Independent Work Chart for little kids. We always managed to find things as I felt it kept my littles learning and exploring all the time--and it helped my preschoolers to NEVER be bored!)i

Here are some tips for creating Independent Work Lists for elementary children:


1. Either make it on a chart that the child uses wipe and write markers and mount it somewhere--or make it in Excel (or your favorite record keeping program) and place it on a thin clip boards.

Trust me: loose papers never make it back to mom at the end of the day. (Spoken from true experiences--plural--you would think I would have learned this the first time or two! ;) )




2. Put things in the order of importance on the chart--in the order that you want them done.



3. And/or put things in sections.

I used to have mine in order and sections--the first so many items needed done before the child met with Mom or before the child had a morning snack or before lunch chores, or whatever. Never underestimate the value of teaching children time management, prioritizing, etc. via these daily checklists.



4. Explain to your child that this is his daily accountability list.

He is to get these things done each day. (Hint: We taught our children from their earliest recollection of school that school is their occupation. It was what they were supposed to be about every day. No questions asked. No exceptions (unless we parents wanted an exception for sickness or family trips, etc.--in other words, the child doesn't choose to do school or not do school--ever).



5. For things that you are uncertain of/change-ables, put time or generic wording, such as "30 minutes of uninterrupted CQLA work" or "All CQLA assignments from previous meeting with Mom," etc.



6. Be sure to include drill work, silent reading, etc.--all the extras that you want him to do each day.

 (I even put the things that they would often do as I read aloud on this list in the section marked "During Read-Aloud"--such as coloring in educational coloring book, penmanship page, building something with Legos, etc.)



7. Be sure there is a time in which it is turned in each day.

This is kind of another subject, but it fits here as well: A child should not go to basketball practice, Girl Scouts, youth group, or any other activity if he doesn't do his school. Period. We have so many parents come up to us at conventions and say, "I just can't get my fifteen year old to finish his school each day, and he keeps getting further and further behind." Then we ask, "Does he go to sports practice in the afternoon? Does he go to youth group that night?' etc. etc. None of those things should ever happen if he doesn't do his school. School is non-optional.

If your child's independent list is on a clip board, he can simply put the clip board on your desk at the end of the day--all checked off and ready for the next day.


8. The Independent Work Checklist is, in part, to help keep the child moving as you are working with other kids, walking your college kids through a difficulty on the phone, or helping Grandma with something. In other words, you want to teach your student to get up and start on the list right away--and to go back to the list any time he is not meeting with you or doing chores, etc. (I even put things like "Read to Jonathan for 15 minutes" and "30 minutes of morning devotional book and journaling" on the list--everything the child does (outside of chores) was listed on this chart.


I just can't stress enough the benefits of the Independent Work Lists--for Mom and for the student. It takes away gray areas of parenting (something crucial that we teach in our parenting seminars). It helps the child become an independent learner. It teaches many character qualities--perseverance, prioritizing, resourcefulness, responsibility, diligence, timeliness, and much more. Yeah, I am pretty crazy about my thirty years of Independent Work Lists! ;)

B is for Back to School!

Edudemic (clip art)

B is for BACK-TO-SCHOOL!

Do you start back on the traditional school schedule? Or do you school in the summer to get some days in? Or do you school year round and take breaks throughout the year?

Homeschooling provides flexibility in all areas (not just starting school but literally EVERYTHING) that we don't even begin to appreciate fully. (I didn't until my kids started taking college classes, and they were so locked in to schedules and no time off!!!!)





B is for BACK-TO-SCHOOL!

Do you have a command center? Regardless of whether you use charts, sticker posters, wipe and write, or clip boards for your schedule/chores/organizational systems, I recommend you follow this one tip first:

Get the first hour of the day down pat before you try to "perfect" everything else.

When the first hour of your day is good, the whole day can be good!

http://www.remodelaholic.com/2013/07/family-command-centers





B is for BACK-TO-SCHOOL!

While we are blessed not to have to buy, buy, buy...clothes, supplies, etc., every August just because everybody else is (sometimes I do think it would be fun to go "back to school" clothes shopping with the kids though!), do pay attention to the sales during this time.

For example, we use a lot of three-pronged, two-pocket folders for each monthly unit of work (for storage when the month is done), and those are available now for fifteen cents each vs. up to sixty cents each during the "off season."

Plus, I just have to get some scented markers, cool sticky notes, or other fun thing for the teacher! 

A is for ATTENDANCE!

CLK Clipart

A is for ATTENDANCE!

What does attendance mean in your state?

In our nearly thirty years of homeschooling in Indiana, we have had laws that have read something like this: "A student between the ages of seven and sixteen (not sure what age this is now) must attend public school or have equivalent instruction" and equivalent instruction has usually meant 180 days of "instruction."

More on this later--such as attendance keeping AND what constitutes a day of school--if our child is home, isn't he "in school"?







A is for ATTENDANCE!

If you live in a state where you are mandated to keep track of your days (your kids' "attendance"), I recommend keeping it simple!

Even if you use an elaborate lesson plan or other tracking system, I would still get a dollar pocket calendar and write the days on it. It can be as simple as putting in the corner of each school day 4/180 (day four of attendance out of 180 total).

The reason for this is that if all you really HAVE to have is 180 days recorded somewhere, then do that in a simple, non -fussy way so that you can be sure that it gets done. Then if you want to record it i your lesson plan, tracker, etc., as well, that is fine.

However, even if your more elaborate system breaks down somewhere mid-year (or your computer loses it!), you will still have your pocket calendar with the minimum that you are required taken care of.

More on WHAT to count as a homeschool day later!






A is for ATTENDANCE!

How do you know when something should be counted as a full day or half day or no day?

There are plenty of ways to look at this: (1) must complete all regular daily work to be a day; (2) schools take half days all the time for movies, inservice, etc., so it won't make that much difference; (3) a certain number of hours equals a full day; (4) field trips count/field trips don't count; (5) other!

The point of this isn't to solve your "what do I count" dilemma but rather to make us all aware of the need to give our children the best we can and the need to be above reproach at all times.

We personally have decided what to "count" as a day in different ways during different seasons: (1) as long as language arts and math were done, we would count a half day of art and gym or library and cooking along with that for a day; (2) a certain amount of time. We used an hour counting approach (hours worked on academics or training-only non academics (PE, art, home ec, etc.--not daily/routine activities) that went something like this:

a. 2 hours for K-2nd grade
b. 3 hours for 3rd-5th
c. 3.5 hours for 6th-8th
d. 4 to 5 hours for high school

Regardless of how you count your days of ATTENDANCE, please consider the following:

1. Always be above reproach

2. Always do more, not less--and teach your children to go the extra mile while doing this

3. Consider the non-book learning as long as it is true training including audio, video, hands on, etc. (again, not routine, like regular daily chores or skills that are already full developed like making breakfast, etc.)

4. Be consistent. Either count time or count books or count classes, etc. Or count field trips all the time or do not count field trips

5. Keep your system simple--just a simple calendar marking system or tick mark/running day total in your daytimer, etc.

6. Be excited for each day that you complete! 

F is for FUN: Some Fun Things We Have Done

I promised you a list of fun things we have done, so here it comes. It won't be long, but hopefully some of the ideas can prompt more ideas within you. If you have heard me speak of creating a love for learning, you may have already heard of some of them. 

I pray that your family can find that fine balance between fun and just plain hard work. Homeschooling is a long, sometimes lonely, and always challenging endeavor. As I have mentioned before, if we try to make it all fun and games all the time, our children will miss valuable lessons. However, if we omit fun from our homeschool entirely, we risk making everything else look better to our children than home. 

So...F is for FUN!

1. We always started our day with Bible reading/character reading together--and ended that reading with a fun chapter book that we worked through together. (This was after each person's morning routine and chore list, usually, and was sometimes during the kids' breakfast eating.) Everybody looked forward to our continued chapter book readings.

2. While we tried to get curriculum that fit each child's strengths, interests, learning styles, etc., and I (Donna) did the bulk of the choosing, for extra things, we took the kids with us to smaller conventions (or let them look in a catalog to choose), and they picked out their fun "extras"--including chapter books they wanted to read that year, educational coloring books, audios to listen to, etc. (Yes, we spent a lot on our kids' school. We live in a very old, tiny, non-fancy house with used furniture and old vehicles with lots of miles. We financially (and time and energy-wise) prioritized our kids' education and family times over everything else.)

3. While we did many weekday field trips, we didn't limit our field trips to school days. It wasn't uncommon at all for us to take a Saturday to go to museums and zoos with Dad or to plan a long weekend vacation museum-hopping in Chicago. The kids knew that their education was important to both Dad and Mom--and wasn't just something that Mom did, thought about, planned, and carried out.

4. In addition to our morning chapter book, I usually had chapter books going with various kids. I would have one that I read aloud to each of the three olders--plus another that we did as a family with Dad. Everybody worked hard so we could do our reading. 

5. I should say after the #4 reading one that we did not have access to television stations or even computers with our olders. We had a big old television hooked up to a vcr--and we limited everybody's watching to five hours per week (usually together). I need to include that here because when  you don't have television or computers, reading aloud together becomes a fun activity. While I don't think we should run away from our society (not have a computer, act like technology doesn't exist, etc.), we recommend highly limiting and controlling it so that the little things in life become sweeter. (See The Fun Factor in Homeschooling.)


6. Read the book/watch the movie. We didn't do this formally, but we did it quite often. With so many book/movie combos out today, I would make this a homeschool tradition!

7. Add fun subjects. Our kids always got to do extra things they enjoyed like art, music, pottery, sewing, science kits, etc. We tried to expose them to different fun things to see what they were good at and where there interests took them.

8. Make PE a family affair. We tried to do a lot of our kids' PE at home together. We had other families over to play. But we also just played as a family. We loved making up new games with various sizes and styles of balls!

9. Get cool school supplies. We didn't do back-to-school clothes shopping, but we did let them pick out their binders, pens, crayons, etc. They weren't limited to a list from a school with boring "16 Crayola crayons--no more, no fewer"---any style or color or pattern of school supply works at home! ;)

10. As our kids got older, we let them plan their subjects for the next year--and sometimes even choose the books.

11. Also, as our kids got older, we let them plan their school schedule/order with us for the year. As long as it worked and they completed their lists, they could continue to make choices about these things.

12. School with another family. We often did field trips, activities, unit studies, days away, etc. with another family or two of kids. We got together to do gingerbread houses and crafts, etc., every Christmas. 

13. Do anything different than what kids around you are doing! Our kids loved the fact that they didn't have to get on a bus early or they didn't have to stay inside at a desk if it was nice out. Or we could go to the park for lunch and some PE on any given day. Point out the fact that homeschooling affords us so many activities and opportunities that those in school can't do or enjoy.

14. Take fun field trips! If you have heard us speak or read our newsletter, you know that our older kids are extremely proud of the fact that they (along with Mom and Dad) slept at the top of the jungle gym at Science Central, in the snake room at the zoo, and on the soldiers' "cots" at the fort. Go for the unusual, and they will remember them and love homeschooling because of them.

15. Do storytime from birth. There is nothing like shared picture books with little kids. And there is definitely nothing like the memories of reading picture books every afternoon with momma for ten years. I'm telling you--this is what memories are made of.


I could go on forever and ever about how much we love homeschooling; how we tried to make it fun (but not so fun that normal wasn't enjoyed!); how we put our time, money, strength, and energy into raising our children in this homeschooling lifestyle--and how much they, as adults, are grateful to us for it. 

The Fun Factor in Homeschooling

Before I give a list of tips for making homeschooling fun (in another post), I want to address something that definitely keeps homeschooling from being fun--for parents--but even for the kids too (eventually!). This concept is one of indulgent homeschooling vs fun homeschooling.

Just like our children "don't like" this or "don't want" that or "have to have" this or "can't be happy without" this--and thus, are often not happy with the "normal" things of life--so it is with our children in homeschooling.

Before I come off sounding like an ogre, I want to assure you that we had a fun homeschool. If you were to ask our children (seven of them ages fifteen through thirty) if our homeschool was fun, you would hear answers like the following:

"Oh yeah! Dad used to use these huge red pressboard bricks to teach Bible stories. We would build the temple, Zacheus' tree, and even Jesus' boat!"

"Fun? How many kids do  you know who got to sleep at the top of the jungle gym at Science Central overnight---WITH their parents!"

"I can't imagine more fun than having your mom read to you for two hours every morning and two hours every afternoon. School was definitely fun at our house!"

"It was a blast! When Mom and Dad got us new books and other fun things from the homeschool convention, they would wake us up at midnight when they got home and show us everything and start reading them to us!"

However, one reason that our children found homeschooling fun was because everything didn't always have to be fun. Just like an indulgent child can't be happy unless she gets to have a friend overnight, order pizza, and buy new make up to do make-overs often, a homeschooled child will not think school is fun if he has to have fun all the time. I call this the fun factor in homeschooling.

So, strange as it may seem, my first suggestion to making school fun and helping your kids love learning and love homeschooling is to not try to make everything fun.

Our kids knew fun times were coming. They knew that Mom and Dad loved learning and loved homeschooling and would make things fun at times. They knew that we had something fun up our sleeves to pull out any time.

But they also knew that school was their occupation--and it was often just plain hard work sometimes. And it needed to be done. Day in and day out. Just like Dad went to his job and worked his tail off--so Mom and the kids do the same at home.

We didn't need to have bells and whistles all the time because they began to love normal (just like their parents did---hint hint--modeling!). They always knew the expectations, and they knew that every day they had to get up and follow a routine for learning, growing, becoming, and maturing.

They learned the joy of following a routine, setting goals and meeting them, completing tasks, and of gaining knowledge.

They knew that there were many things we do just because they are the right things to do. Every subject, every day doesn't have to be fun. Chores don't always have to be games and contests--or rewarded (though sometimes they were!).

We taught them a contentment in homeschooling--in our way of life---that made the fun even more fun, the special even more special, and the extraordinary even more extraordinary.

The Fun Factor in Homeschooling--the fun begins when the normal is good too.

Character Ink Class Additions for Tuesdays in Fort Wayne--Fall Semester 2013

Character Ink (formerly Training for Triumph) will be adding another day of classes in Fort Wayne if there is enough interest in the classes being offered.
 
Classes will be held for the first semester of this school year (with the potential of another set of offerings for the second semester) at First Assembly of God on Washington Center Road on Tuesdays. Please contact us quickly if you are interested in these classes. (Call Ray at 260-597-7415 or 260-450-7063. He will call you back quickly.)
 
Students will be invoiced monthly and will receive their first invoice on the first class day.
 
Note that a couple of these classes are also offered on Mondays at First Assembly, so if you would like to change to Tuesdays, contact us immediately, so we can be sure we have enough students for both days for those classes. 

 
TUESDAY Class Offerings at First Assembly
 
8:30-10:00 General Composition (a “remediation” type course for junior high and high school, though we will not call it that...it will be called General Composition). 7th through 12th grade students who have not written a lot of six paragraph plus essays and reports. We will use our Jump Start comp book for these grades, and students will move from a couple of paragraphs to many paragraphs quickly with step-by-step help. Cost is $10 per week and $32 for the book for the semester.
 
 
10:00-11:30 High School Essay/SAT Essay. We will begin with expository essays and five paragraph non-timed essays and move into all of the intricacies of writing a timed essay (whether for the SAT/ACT or for contests or college admissions). This class is for 9th through 12th graders who have already written essays, research reports, and stories in other contexts. We will use Donna and Joshua’s new 350-page book, “The SAT Essay and Other Timed Writing.” Cost is $10 per week and $32 for the book for the semester.
 
 
11:30-2:30 Junior High and High School Speech and Debate. This class is a three hour course that teaches both public speaking and debate. Students love this class and come out able to speak in many contexts with ease. It is fun, fast-paced, and filled with opportunities to speak before the group, starting out with “things you know.” This is our longest-running class. We have literally taught hundreds of kids in FW to give speeches, do research for debate, and debate. This class is for twelve year olds through seniors in high school. Cost is only $10 per week and $25 for the non-consumable book (which students in the same family may share).
 
2:30-4:00 Ancient History. This class has been extremely popular down in our learning center near Ossian as well as in our second semester Leo/Grabill classes! Taught by Joshua Reish, who tested out of his entire history degree except for two classes for which there were no test available, this class has hundreds of teaching slides that engage students in each time period and event of history. Your student will learn and love history after hearing and seeing Joshua’s love for it! This is for seventh through twelfth graders who can read at a high school level and may be counted towards one semester of World History. (The second semester of this class, though not mandatory, will be offered in Leo and Ossian during the winter.) Cost is reduced in order to build up students in our history courses in FW for the first time: $6 per week and $6/month for handouts. (No book is needed as Joshua writes all of his own materials and gives these throughout the semester.)
 
 
 
Also, please note that we have a little space in a few classes on other days/locations:
 
MONDAYS at First Assembly: 
 
CQLA Level B (11:00-1:30)
 
CQLA Level A (11:00 - 1:30)
 
Literature for high school  (12:30 - 2:00)
 
 
 
WEDNESDAYS near Ossian:  
 
CQLA Level A (12:00 - 1:30)
 
Literature for high school  (1:30-3:00)
 
High School/SAT Essay (10:30-12:00)
 
Biology (10:30 - 12:00)
 
Ancient History (3:00 - 4:30)
 
 
Monday and Wednesday registration forms and schedules are available at http://characterink.blogspot.com/2013/04/cottage-classes-fall-2013-spring-2014.html
 
 
 
 
   

What Would You Do With a Five Year Old?

I was recently asked what my "educational expectations" would be with a five year old. Now, this fall marks our thirtieth year of homeschooling. Through the years, we have ebbed and flowed with the trends of homeschooling just like all other long-term homeschoolers. However, there are some things that have always stayed the same for us:

(1) Teach obedience before starting school

(2) Put relationships above academics

(3) Put God first, then marriage, then children, then others

And many more!

My expectations for five year olds still haven't changed! If I had a sweet, wonderful, amazing five year old, this is what I would do! (Btw, four to six year olds are the greatest kids ever!)

1. Obedience. We can't expect children to do school work if they will not make their beds, brush their teeth, come when called, etc. Obedience is a pre-requisite to bookwork--always has been in our homeschool. Take it from an old mama---school is so much better with a six year old in kindergarten who obeys than it is with a five year old in kindergarten who doesn't obey.

2.  Morning routine. If our kids couldn't do a simple morning routine chart of making their beds, grooming, putting away their own toys and books, "reading" a picture Bible (or doing a Bible book and audio set), and getting completely ready for the day without a big fuss, I didn't do bookwork with them. (See number one!) I talk about morning routine charts in Raising Kids With Character (formerly Positive Parenting) here and here and here and here .

3. Chores. Once a five year old is known for first time obedience and following through on his morning routine, I add chores to his schedule. You can read more about developing chores for this age group here and here and here  and here and here .

4. Room time. I used room time from ten to fourteen months (playpen time) up through age six or seven, depending on how much the child could join us for older kids' school. The reason I list it here as an expectation for a five year old is that I believe room time has so many educational benefits, namely those of increasing a child's concentration, creativity, independence, and risk taking (all found to be important factors in studies about children who were "natural readers"--that is, they learned to read without instruction--this is important because if it helps a child become a natural reader, it can also help a child become a good reader in general). You can find out more about room time here and here and here and here,

5. Bible time. I would have the kindergarten join us for Bible time as well as having a "little kids" Bible time during the morning. I liked to put this after morning routine and chores, so we had an order that put character and faith before academics. It might work better for some to do it during story time. (I used what I called "interval Bible training," meaning that we did various Bible teachings from sun up until sun down, so that they were always being trained in Bible stories, character, doctrine, hymns, songs, etc. all the time. For instance, we would use Bible on audio during morning chores, hymns and praise music during breakfast, Bible story read alouds in the morning, more in depth Bible studies with the olders during "unit studies," Bible audios and/or videos during room time (almost always audios; I wasn't big on videos as I wanted them to "make the pictures in their minds"); Bible stories and character stories during story time, audios as they were falling asleep; Bible reading and singing at dinner; Bible stories at bedtime, etc. Find out more about what we used during this age here and here and here

6. Informal learning time. We had an adage that "we would never teach a young child anything formally that could be taught informally." Therefore, when it came to pre-reading and pre-math skills, we were extremely diligent to "teach while we are in the way with them." In other words, rhyming words, initial consonant sounds, ending consonant sounds, letter recognition, beginning math concepts (counting, recognizing numbers, less than/greater than, and much more) can all be taught informally, and we did. We also used picture books, puzzles, games, manipulatives, audios, videos, computer games, felt activities, toys, blocks....anything! I recommend building this time into a kindergarteners day--either through room time or through a learning center or table time where activities are set up for him, etc. 

7. Formal learning. We only used workbooks with our five, six, and seven year old (non-readers) when they were set on numbers one through six above--and only if the child wanted them and enjoyed them. There are colorful, wonderful kindergarten workbooks available through Timberdoodle. Here are some other formal learning tips for this age:

a. If your kindergarten student is ready to learn to read, I don't recommend using a complete kindergarten/first grade curriculum to do this. Learning to read doesn't need to take three to five years. If you get a good program, a child can learn to read in three to six months if readiness is in place. (Call to order my audio on Teaching Reading in the Homeschool for more information on reading readiness, choosing readers, and choosing a phonics program.) I recommend a couple that I have used or had friends use, but there are many good ones out there that teach reading only (i.e. not complete language arts at this level) and use a word family phonics approach combined with readers. Some of my reading program reviews are found at Raising Kids With Character for Phonics Tutor and Saxon Reading.

b. If you do want to get an entire kindergarten program, do not get a textbook-driven approach. Again, Timberdoodle has wonderful preschool and kindergarten programs with many hands on and fun activities included. 

c. Make kindergarten fun. If I had kindergarten to do over again, I would do all of the tips above and get Timberdoodle's kindergarten fun things, a colorful math program that has manipulatives (Math-U-See and/or Saxon kindergarten math are very hands on!), and Five in a Row (and choose the activities that you want to do and leave the rest). But again, I would only do that after the first six things above are met!


As for general expectations, here are some other tips:

(1) Morning routines, morning chores, sitting during reading, room time, etc., first (have I mentioned this yet?)

(2) An hour or so of time with you either in fun learning (see c. above) and/or in learning to read, preferably in the morning.

(3) Story time, room time, quiet time, book and audio sets, etc. for independent learning all built into the schedule.

(4) Interweave free time with all of the above. It is my experience that four to six year olds who are not doing "formal" more all day type of school end up being bored and restless when their days are not predictable. 

Hope this helps you with your five year old! Most of all, enjoy them! These should be some of the sweetest days of parenting! I know they were for me, and I want that for every mama out there! :)


P.S. If you have not been a reader of Positive Parenting/Character Training From the Heart, I hope you will join us over there. It is Character Training From the Heart for the blog and the FB page is still Positive Parenting 365. I talk about all aspects of Christian parenting from infancy through young adults/college age. I love parenting. Here are some general RKWC links that might pertain to your questions:

A. Toddlers and Preschoolers 
B. Reading Instruction 
C. Reviews of Materials
D. Schedules 
E. Chores